Refined and Cabbage Head: A Memoir

At the age of eighteen, Barbara Abbott faced a daunting ultimatum from her father – he threatened to end her life if she dared to attend school against his wishes. As a sharecropper who had lost his farm in 1956, he relied on Barbara's labor to help plant their annual tobacco crop, leaving her with little choice but to remain on the farm. Despite this, Barbara would often sneak away to school, only to be retrieved by her mother before her second class began, and promptly returned to the fields. In the evenings, she would study unassigned chapters, determined not to fall behind in her schoolwork due to her frequent absences.

Barbara's father firmly believed that living off the land was the best option for southern black people. He never encouraged his children to seek an education, convinced that it had not helped many black people financially. He harbored an extreme distrust of white people and the government, further reinforcing his stance. Nonetheless, Barbara's determination prevailed, and she was eventually accepted into Bennett College, a predominantly black all-girls school. However, her academic journey was cut short when she left college after her junior year to marry her high school sweetheart.

Tragically, Barbara's marriage was marred by further hardship. While pregnant, she discovered that her husband was gay and had a lover living next door. This personal narrative, spanning many decades, paints a vivid picture of the everyday life struggles faced by a black woman, and her unwavering spirit to forge a path different from that of her ancestors.

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